Balance

Webster’s defined balance as “a state of equilibrium between contrasting, opposing, or interacting elements”. Equilibrium is a reactive thing. As a force pushes, it adjusts.

When people talk about life-work balance, they inevitably talk about amounts of time designated to certain areas of their lives. If they draw it out, it will take the shape of a pie, with slices allocated to sleep, work and family.

Stasis

Balance is not about stasis. If you were to remain fixed and static, and a force pushed against you, you would fall over.

Why, therefore, do we try for fixed proportions when we talk about life-work balance?

Small Corrections from a Good Starting Place

Let’s take a look at a unicycle rider. The person must first get up on the cycle, initially balance, and then you will see him adjusting the cycle with his torso and the pedals.

Without that initial balance, the cycle rider will fall. Without the adjustments, gravity will take over.

Just as a rider on a unicycle must adjust himself to stay upright in the same general location, we also must learn to move from an initial starting position and adjust ourselves in small ways if we are going to remain in balance.

Balancing Life

In order to get a good life-work balance, you need to start in a sustainable position. Look at your pie chart of activities as they are now. Is there anything that can be changed? Is there anything that could be changed? If you are working 80 hours a week and have no down time, it may be time to adjust your job. If you have a large chunk of time labeled “television” or “internet” it may be necessary to cut back on those to get that initial balance.

Once you have your initial balance, work on small adjustments. If you are toiling hard one week on a work project, make sure to adjust the next week and take some time to do something else.

And remember, it is never too late to get off the cycle and restart.

Photo by Karl Horton

One of my co-workers is wise beyond her years. She never seems to get flustered. During a recent episode where all was in chaos, she remained serene. I asked her how she did it. Her first reply was glib, but I pressed her further, and she responded that the key to her calmness was taking 10 minutes every morning and night and just breathing.

This is one of the forms of meditation I have come in contact with since studying inner peace, and it does work. You sit quietly and focus on your breath, in and out. It sounds easy, but in fact is rather difficult at first, as your mind will probably wander. When this happens, I have to remember to gently bring my mind back, rather than wrenching it away from the thoughts. The latter, as you can probably guess, is not very peace-like. As a go-to-sleep tape of mine says, “You will have thoughts, but you’re not obliged to think them.”

I can do this type of meditation in the evening with no problem. I find it a nice end to the day, and I generally sleep better after having done it.

However, I can’t do this in the morning. The few times I have attempted it, I have fallen back asleep. It doesn’t matter if I am sitting in bed, in a chair or even outside. I just doze right off.

A few days ago I had some extra time in the morning, and picked up my knitting, which happened to be right by the chair I read in in the morning. This is rather mindless knitting, not something that requires concentration. What I found was that I could concentrate on my breathing without danger of falling asleep because part of my mind and my hands were engaged in something that would not allow me to fall off.

For those of you who may have trouble with early mornings, this might be something to try. Find something you can do that uses your hands actively, but you can do without thinking too much about. And see if you can focus on your breathing while doing it.

Photo by knittinging

It is said that practice makes perfect. We rehearse musical instruments, practice sports, learn new languages by repeating words. These skills ingrain themselves within us and we become proficient. Do emotional and physiological reactions work the same way?

Adrian Savage thinks so.

In “Slow Leadership: Practicing Stress” (sadly no longer on the web), he expounds on practicing stress. “Everyone gets stressed from time to time. But if you practice it, you’ll become really good at getting as stressed as possible in as short a time as may be.”

We’ve all heard that we are what we think we are. And perhaps being stressed is one of those things. Since we can’t avoid all causes of negative stress, we may need to practice those techniques that get us out of the stress zone and back to our center, back to peace.

Photo by chelseagirl

So many people seeking inner peace and simplicity also mention that they are seeking a balance between work and life. I was greatly encouraged by Adrian Savage’s article “Slow Leadership: The Plain Truth About Work/Life Balance” (sadly, no longer on the web). It really struck a chord with me. His five truths are:

1. Work is simply a part of life, but it needs to be an enjoyable part. If it isn’t, do something about that right away.

“If your life only begins when work ends, you need to find another job or career.” We spend too many hours working to have it be a detested activity. A great many of work-place problems, though, can be changed by changing one thing we have control over: ourselves. If you detest your job, ask what can change. If you can’t change anything, then look for a new job. 8 hours or more a day is too much to waste in something that sucks the life force out of you.

2. Look for balance on a short-term basis only. Stay flexible. Remember it’s like balancing on one leg: rigidity will quickly bring you down.

It is worth thinking about a work-life balance less like a pie chart with portions that are fixed, and more like a juggling act where you have to be constantly adapting to the circumstances so that the balls don’t come down. Flexibility works both toward the personal and professional lives: there may be times when you have to take time off to care for a sick family member, and there may be times when you have to spend more time at the office to get something out the door.

3. Set boundaries and try to stick to them. If you compromise too much, your balance will be lost. The ideal is to shift flexibly within your boundaries without going past them.

If your professional life is such that you are supposed to work 40 hours per week, and you have put in 80 for many more weeks than you can count (and there is no end in sight) you may need to consider if you are OK with it. If you are not, then you have moved past your boundary. I will never forget my first client when I came back from maternity leave: he demanded overtime every week as well as me working through a pre-scheduled vacation. I didn’t have the spine to stand up to him, and have regretted it ever since. Now I refuse to work past my specified hours unless there is an emergency. And I am very up front about what my definition of emergency is: if a client cannot complete the work they need to do on a system I am writing/supporting. Anything else, particularly those things caused by poor planning, are not.

4. Have priorities that reflect your stage of life and personal circumstances. Change them in line with life’s changes. Don’t cling to out-dated choices.

10 years ago, my priorities were much different. I didn’t have a family or house. Now with both in my life, I have very different ideas of what I want to do. I recently negotiated to lessen my work hours so that I can be home when my daughter is not in school. Luckily, my current client is supportive. If they had not been, I would have asked to be reassigned somewhere else.

5. You can?t ever have it all. Be willing to let some aspirations go with a smile.

Too many “systems”, “programs” and “theories” these days all try to bypass an immutable law: when dealing with individuals, we cannot give/have/perform at more than 100%. 100% is the absolute limit for an individual. So if you add something to your life, it is only logical that something else will have to decrease because you will never exceed 100%. So stop trying.

I hope these thoughts give you something to consider in a quest for balance.

Photo by Ella’s Dad

Since finishing NaNoWriMo last Sunday, I have been doing a condiment week. I’ve been playing catchup.

A busy week that seems to have no end, task lists that keep growing, having to fight a few battles that were necessary but still took a lot out of me, little sleep, and dealing with a bunch of Brownies hopped up on S’mores. I thought I was going to implode.

So how did I get it to stop in a matter of hours?

1. I took care of the basics. I handed my daughter over to my husband. I ate dinner. I sat outside and watched the stars and moon for a while.

2. I relaxed. Next came a hot bath with a relaxing scented bubblebath and candles. I listened to a sound meditation (SankofaSong.com).

3. I sat down with my task list and started pruning. Some tasks were deleted outright. Others were moved to the days when I would actually do them.

4. I renegotiated my schedule. I know I have many rehearsals (both my own and my daughter’s) this month. This means I have less time. These night’s regular tasks got moved or ignored until January. Brownies have made Thursday after work stressful as I tried to manage my weekly housecleaning, my daughter’s spelling practice, and early dinner. Housecleaning got moved to Wednesday and dinner will be “dinner in a bag”.

It’s now less than two hours after meltdown, and I feel like I am back on track. I still have to work some things in – like holiday crafts and working on the book (which after 50,000 words is still 2/3 unwritten). But it seems manageable now, and will probably be even moreso after a good night’s sleep.

Usually a creative person, I was all of a sudden struck with the thought that what I am doing is futile. I create because I love to create. I share what I create so that others may gain. But in a bleak few hours, I wasn’t sure why I wanted to create anymore.

Why write if you are not sure anyone is benefiting from your words? Writing isn’t the easiest thing in the world for me, and I’ve been struggling to come up with topics and the motivation to write.

I wrote an email to a creative person I admire, asking if she had ever been through this. I was thrilled when she responded within hours. She pinpointed the problem exactly, and sent a message of support and love.

The problem was I was starting to get too drained. I’m not always aware when I have been giving without receiving until all of a sudden it descends on me like a truckful of bricks. When I get out of balance in any part of my life, I start to lose the creative spark, not only in my writing, but also in other areas of my life.

Her message, full of light and hope, allowed me to see I needed to take some time for me, build up my positivity reserves, and inspired me in my next steps.

Because “some days are like that, even in Australia“

There will be some changes around the blog in the next few months. I know that I will be looking to join a network to get more exposure and readers. I will endeavor to run more contests to get more interaction. I will run a survey to find out what you, the reader, is really interested in seeing here. And it starts today.

If this blog has helped you, please either comment on this post, or email me at lj AT simpleproductivityblog DOT com with your comments.

One of the keys to having a productive life is finding enough time to recharge. Here are 16 ways that I find more time for my projects and relaxation.

1. Unplug the computer. I waste many hours on the computer, checking email, reading articles and surfing. While some of this activity is necessary, I have to keep on myself to limit my time. One way I do this is to literally unplug my laptop on weekends. When the battery is done, so am I.
2. Turn Off the Phone. Telephones are there for my convenience. Just because one is ringing doesn’t mean I have to answer it. In order to not feel guilty about not answering, though, I turn off the phone. I talk when I want to.
3. Cut Out Television. I’ve never been a big tv watcher, but the draw is there. I make it a policy that I don’t turn on the television unless there is something specific I want to watch.
4. Exercise. Since I exercise alone, this one has an added bonus to the benefits of the exercise itself. I can relax and enjoy the outside while walking the dog, or listen to podcasts.
5. Get Up Early. Getting up an hour before the rest of the family gives you a great time to get things done for you. I try to do this on Saturday mornings.
6. Stay Up Late. I don’t recommend combining this one with the previous tip, but if you are a night owl, staying up beyond the rest of the family can give you time to yourself as well.
7. Split the Sleep. Along with the last two items, a third option is to go to bed early, rise and do things in the middle of the night, and then go back to bed. This seems to work well for those who don’t need much sleep to begin with. I use this tactic when occasional insomnia makes sleep difficult.
8. Utilize Lunch Breaks. If you can do activities during your lunch breaks instead of after work or on weekends, you will free up that much more time.
9. Hire A Sitter. Sometimes hiring a babysitter is a good idea, even if you are going to stay at home. While my husband was recovering from an appendectomy, I wanted to get my daughter’s room painted. A teenager we knew was very happy to play outside with my daughter and get paid.
10. Have A “Me” Evening. Since my husband travels with his work, and has several activities that take him outside the home during the week, we agreed that Tuesdays are my nights to do whatever I want. Sometimes I have rehearsal, or go to a cafe; but other times I get to stay home and not be bothered.
11. Schedule Time. If you are schedule-driven, and honor your scheduled commitments, put time for yourself on the schedule. Just make sure you treat it with the same importance you would an appointment with someone else.
12. Many Hands Make Light Work. If you trade work with a friend, you will end up spending less time at tasks, giving you more free time. Why? Working with a friend often keeps you motivated and working at a faster pace.
13. Drive in Silence. If you need solitude and unwinding time, turn off the radio during your commute. Focusing on the drive itself without the worries of the world pressing in can give you some breathing room to unwind.
14. Limited Multitasking. I am not a fan of multi-tasking, but sometimes it can be beneficial. I download many podcasts that I enjoy listening to (and my family does not). I listen while I am walking the dog, doing cleaning, or walking on the treadmill. It has two benefits: I get to do something I enjoy while performing a necessary task, and it also isolates me a bit from the hubbub of the home.
15. Take Your Time In the Bathroom. For those of us with young children, bathroom time is rarely alone. Even if my daughter is not bugging me, I find that the animals will pester me. I lock the door and take my time, giving myself a bit of space.
16. Make Weekends For You. If at all possible, get all your work – home and paid – done during the week, so that you have weekends completely free. I use this tactic, along with getting up at 6 a.m. on Saturdays, to knock out large chunks of writing.

It isn’t always easy to find time for ourselves, whether for a project, or just for a moment to unwind. Look for hidden opportunities during the day, and you might be surprised at the little amounts you can use!

Photo by gadl

When it boils down to it, being productive is about managing our commitments. Everything that we do requires us to commit to it on some level. Even taking out the trash is a commitment, since we commit our bodies to moving a bag from place to place.

Spoken Or Acknowledged Commitments

Most of the things that make it into our lists are spoken commitments. We have said to someone that we are going to do something. Perhaps it is in response to someone’s request, or even a commitment to ourselves that we will complete something.

Unspoken or Unacknowledged Commitments

Unspoken commitments come about as parts of our lives that we may not consider as taking time. Household tasks, family time, and children’s activities are three examples.

For instance, having my daughter take piano lessons means that I have to commit to taking her to the lesson, waiting for the lesson to be done, help her work through the music, and listen to her practice. It’s not something that I put on my schedule, but it takes up three hours a week.

Many people, especially working parents, wonder why they have so little time. I think the reason may lie in unspoken commitments.

How To Find Unspoken Commitments

I went through my schedule looking for the unspoken commitments. I found, in addition to piano, that there were other ones:

• Housework. I don’t schedule time for housework, and even doing little-and-often using a version of Flylady’s system, I still put in at least 30 minutes a day.
• Exercise. This often falls off my list because it is something I need to do, yet don’t allocate time for.
• Church. I go to church not only for my own benefit, but also so my daughter can attend religious education. This means I have to commit to getting out of bed on Sundays and making it to service. The total time is about 2.5 hours a week.
• Food Prep. Just like housework, I don’t schedule time for food prep. I do most of the cooking in the house, as well as preparing lunches and some breakfasts. I estimate that this takes about 30 minutes a day as well.
• Walking the Dog. I don’t necessarily plan to walk the dog. Our beagle, though, needs lots of exercise and “sniffing time”. A two mile circuit with the dog takes about 30 minutes a day.

This is not the complete list of commitments from the exercise, but it illustrates some of the things I found. I have many more commitments than what is actually on my project lists!

Balancing Unspoken Commitments and Your Life

By listing out the things that really are taking time in my life, I was able to see why I really don’t have all that much free time. That allowed me to re-examine everything and see if I could free up time for relaxation. I found that many of the projects that I was supposedly trying to work on but hadn’t made progress on needed to be put on hold. I had to scale back what I was trying to do.

Photo by Kapungo

So the question, after scavenging the machine for parts (no, not even a decent burial here), the question became, do I replace it?

Replacing vs. Doing Without

I sat down and made a list of pros and cons to having a Roomba around.

Cons

1. Roombas are expensive. At over $200 a pop, they are definitely something I need to think about before buying.
2. Roombas break. In the six years I have used Roombas, this was number 15 (including under-warranty replacements.
3. Roombas require more maintenance than regular vacuums. I have found that the only way to get around the breakage was to disassemble the vacuum regularly and clean it out. This is on top of cleaning the brushes weekly.
4. Roombas get caught. They don’t handle stuff left on the floor very well, and cotton swabs (a favorite cat toy) will jam them up good.

Pros

1. I don’t have to vacuum. I’m not pushing the vacuum. Since vacuuming ranks right up there with childbirth and ironing in my list of non-favorite things to do, this is a big plus.
2. Roombas run unattended. I can set the machine up, turn on the virtual walls to keep it corralled, and let it go
3. Roombas go under the furniture. Under beds, dressers, chairs, sofas. This saves me having to move furniture to dig out the furballs and dust bunnies, and keeps the rooms cleaner overall.
4. Roombas handle multiple surfaces. My roombas handle carpeting, hardwood floors with rugs, and tile equally well.

Analysis

Roombas work well, when they work. It’s hard for them to keep running. So is the ongoing quest for me to keep them going worth the benefit they provide? This is a question I ask myself every time I have to replace them.

So it boils down to cost-benefit analysis. It would take me approximately 1.5 hours per week to vacuum the floors in the house. That does not include going under the furniture, which would take another 2 to 3 hours per month. So figure 9 hours of my time per month vacuuming. If the Roomba costs $200 and can last for one year (that’s the warranty), that means that the cost per month will be $16.66. Is my time worth more than $1.85? Absolutely.

Photo by Alexis Deadly

Back In the Day

Starting with the industrial revolution, work began to be done in workplaces, mainly factories. Workers would go to the factory, perform their tasks, and go home. You simply couldn’t take work home with you: the machines necessary stayed at the factory. So when you were done with your shift of riveting airplanes, manufacturing cars or rolling paper, you could go home and leave work behind.

The Current Era

Today, thanks to the multitude of electronic devices such as cell phones, wireless internet, Blackberries and such, we are never out of touch. We can work in the local coffee shop, at a soccer game, or at home. And this access is causing the lines to blur.

How To Get the Balance Back

In the past, the line between work and personal lives was drawn for us by our job situation. Now the line is no longer external; it must be determined and enforced by our internal guidelines.

Simply put, it is up to us to say “No.” We are the ones who must say that we will not work during family time. We must be the ones to draw the line, and explain that it cannot be crossed.

Competition out there might not draw the line; but ultimately would you rather be a rat in the race, or someone with a life?

Photo by Benimoto