SimpleProductivityBlog.com » Balance

How To Stop Accumulating Stress

LJ — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:00:06 +0000

Have you ever been tense about something, just to have your kids misbehave? Have you ever been late and misplace your keys? Have you ever wondered about why, when you’re already stressed, the stress seems to pile on?

The reason is that we accumulate stress as we move through situations. Each additional stressor piles on to the original stress level and amplifies what we are already feeling. But there is a way to keep that from happening:

The 5 Ways To Ramp Down Your Stress Level

Be aware of your stress level. In order to prevent stress from getting out of control, you must be aware of it. Get in the habit of asking yourself how stressed you are.
Assess your stress. If you find yourself coming apart at the seams, ask why. Ask yourself if this is really something to work yourself up about.
Notice additional stressors. When we are stressed, everything will seem magnified. The background whining of a two year old can set our teeth on edge on a good day, but will be more difficult to tune out when we are stressed. Things you could normally overlook are brought to the forefront by your already amplified stress level.
Breathe. To back down the stress level, put a few deep breaths in between something happening and your reaction. This can be hard to do, but it is possible with practice.
React proportionately. React to the events as solitary events. The spilled milk might seem like a disaster after a really bad day. But it is, after all, only spilled milk.

What it really boils down to is the trite saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. If you can handle the additional stressors gracefully, you will be a less stressed and much happier person.

Photo by programwitch

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Review: The Daysteps Planner

LJ — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Mondays are productivity days at SimpleProductivity blog.

Product Description

The Daysteps planner is a spiral bound 8.5″ x 11″ planner with different sections. Its goal is to allow you to actually plan out what you want to do, keeping balance in mind.

Company Background

Daysteps is a small company out of St. Louis MO which produces a planner aimed at life balance. The women founders of the company all lead busy lives, balancing family, work and personal needs.

What Makes This Planner Different

I was attracted to this planner because of the focus on balance. Too many planners turn into a blob of rushing to get too much done, without really giving you any room to figure out what direction you need to be going in. Daysteps aims to do life planning, and includes daily ways to make sure you are caring for yourself.

The Details

Month Page/Intentions

Click on the pictures for PDF examples of the three types of pages. All PDFs and Photos are from the Daysteps site.

For each month, you are given a two page spread. One page holds a month-at-a-glance calendar. The facing page asks you to pick intentions for the month, as well as set goals for fitness and nutrition. There are also two areas for you to note household maintenance tasks for the month as well as personal enrichment goals.

Week Page with Health Tracking

Each week has a two page spread. The top half is devoted to a calendar-like grid, but without numbers. The bottom of each day has grids and circles to track health, fitness and nutrition. There is a small task list area on the left side of the page.

Mind Dump and Review Space

At the end of each week there is another two page spread. The left side is dedicated to getting stuff out of your head. The right side is for recording events and reflections.

Overall Impressions

I liked the Daysteps planner from the standpoint that it really does stand apart in the area of actually planning. Too many planners are just calendars and task lists without any space (or reminders) to help you decide what your time should look like. In other words, Daysteps is a proactive rather than reactive planner.

The paper is thick and of high-quality. The covers are a bit flimsy for six month use without a cover, but it will fit into notebook covers from your local office supply store. Each of the pages has a tear-off corner to make it easy to find your current spot.

I was disappointed to find the daily calendar, but realizing there were no times in place allowed me to see that this could be used as a free-form appointment and task list.

I really liked the nutrition and fitness tracker, because for me out of sight really is out of mind.

The Guarantee

Daysteps offers a 30 day guarantee for unused planners. I have never run across a planner that does that (although admittedly I am out of the loop with planners these days).

Disclosure: I was sent a free copy of the Daysteps planner from which to write this review. I initiated the contact with Daysteps, and receive no part of their sales.

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Leaving Space

LJ — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 11:00:48 +0000

This week I am bringing over more articles from LauraEarnest.com.

When I was first studying music, one teacher told me that music was what happened in the spaces between the notes. This thought changed the way I looked at the music, giving the spaces as much importance as the notes themselves.

Life is also like this: we need to give as much weight to the spaces between activities as we do the activities.

We face burnout daily. It is so tempting to keep on going forward with our never-ending to-do lists, never taking the breaks to give meaning to our tasks.

One important concept in getting to a more peaceful state is to slow down and allow those periods of space to occur. Here are some ways to accomplish this:

Creating Space At Work

Instead of immediately plunging headlong into a new task after completing one, take ten seconds to close your eyes and breathe, focusing on what you have just accomplished. This will give you a better sense of completion, plus allow you to recall what exactly you did during the day.

Creating Space At Home

Limit your to-do list. Choose what you will accomplish at home, and do no more. Take the extra time to either have time with yourself, play with the kids, or talk to your spouse. Use this time to give meaning to your usual pace of work.

Creating Space on Weekends

If at all possible, get away from the to-do list. Instead of spending the weekends cleaning, see if you can do it during the week; use the freed-up time to have fun with your family.

All of these ideas are just starters to get you moving in the direction of creating space in your life. What are your favorite methods?

Photo by Tal Bright

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Am I Crazy? I Walked Away From A Promotion

LJ — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 10:00:00 +0000

It’s been an interesting few weeks. My manager took another position in the company. The first word is that they were not going to fill the position. The next day they posted the job announcement.

I work for a small division of a larger company. There are three of us programmers that support the division, insulated (along with the rest of the developers) from the main offices in another state.

I know this business. There are four of us in the company that understand the products. I’ve worked with the products and the teams the longest of all.

I am also part time, by choice.

I decided to throw my hat in the ring. After all, if they were willing to take me as a part-timer, why not? The position has significantly higher visibility, more responsibility, and better pay.

So I went through the process, shadowing my boss. I sat in on the interminable phone calls, released code, processed requests. And today I had my interview.

The VP interviewing me said that I was hands-down qualified, well-respected in the organization, and more than capable of doing the job. Then she asked me if I was sure I was going to be able to do what was required, because it was currently being done by a more-than-part-time person.

The position, first-line support, requires after-hours and weekend work. Sometimes a lot of it.

By the time I walked out of the interview, I knew my answer.

NO.

I went part time so that my daughter would not have to do before- and after- school care. So that we could do things like Brownies and piano lessons. I use my extra time to relax. I write. I garden. I do my housework during the week.

I like what I do during the day: I like moving mass amounts of data effortlessly and coming up with clever solutions to sticky problems. And I like leaving that behind me at the end of the day.

And I realized I didn’t want to give any of that up.

So am I crazy? Some people would think so.

I don’t believe I am. I feel good about this decision. It’s a matter of putting my life design first.

Photo by jaxxon

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Lessons in Work Life Balance from a Unicycle

LJ — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Fridays are tip days at SimpleProductivity blog.

Balance

Webster’s defined balance as “a state of equilibrium between contrasting, opposing, or interacting elements”. Equilibrium is a reactive thing. As a force pushes, it adjusts.

When people talk about life-work balance, they inevitably talk about amounts of time designated to certain areas of their lives. If they draw it out, it will take the shape of a pie, with slices allocated to sleep, work and family.

Stasis

Balance is not about stasis. If you were to remain fixed and static, and a force pushed against you, you would fall over.

Why, therefore, do we try for fixed proportions when we talk about life-work balance?

Small Corrections from a Good Starting Place

Let’s take a look at a unicycle rider. The person must first get up on the cycle, initially balance, and then you will see him adjusting the cycle with his torso and the pedals.

Without that initial balance, the cycle rider will fall. Without the adjustments, gravity will take over.

Just as a rider on a unicycle must adjust himself to stay upright in the same general location, we also must learn to move from an initial starting position and adjust ourselves in small ways if we are going to remain in balance.

Balancing Life

In order to get a good life-work balance, you need to start in a sustainable position. Look at your pie chart of activities as they are now. Is there anything that can be changed? Is there anything that could be changed? If you are working 80 hours a week and have no down time, it may be time to adjust your job. If you have a large chunk of time labeled “television” or “internet” it may be necessary to cut back on those to get that initial balance.

Once you have your initial balance, work on small adjustments. If you are toiling hard one week on a work project, make sure to adjust the next week and take some time to do something else.

And remember, it is never too late to get off the cycle and restart.

Photo by Karl Horton

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How To Keep From Falling Asleep While Meditating

LJ — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:00:00 +0000

This week I’m giving myself a break from writing. Over the next two months, I will be integrating worthy posts from my other blog, LauraEarnest.com, in preparation for shutting it down. The next five days will be the first wave of posts to come over.

One of my co-workers is wise beyond her years. She never seems to get flustered. During a recent episode where all was in chaos, she remained serene. I asked her how she did it. Her first reply was glib, but I pressed her further, and she responded that the key to her calmness was taking 10 minutes every morning and night and just breathing.

This is one of the forms of meditation I have come in contact with since studying inner peace, and it does work. You sit quietly and focus on your breath, in and out. It sounds easy, but in fact is rather difficult at first, as your mind will probably wander. When this happens, I have to remember to gently bring my mind back, rather than wrenching it away from the thoughts. The latter, as you can probably guess, is not very peace-like. As a go-to-sleep tape of mine says, “You will have thoughts, but you’re not obliged to think them.”

I can do this type of meditation in the evening with no problem. I find it a nice end to the day, and I generally sleep better after having done it.

However, I can’t do this in the morning. The few times I have attempted it, I have fallen back asleep. It doesn’t matter if I am sitting in bed, in a chair or even outside. I just doze right off.

A few days ago I had some extra time in the morning, and picked up my knitting, which happened to be right by the chair I read in in the morning. This is rather mindless knitting, not something that requires concentration. What I found was that I could concentrate on my breathing without danger of falling asleep because part of my mind and my hands were engaged in something that would not allow me to fall off.

For those of you who may have trouble with early mornings, this might be something to try. Find something you can do that uses your hands actively, but you can do without thinking too much about. And see if you can focus on your breathing while doing it.

Photo by knittinging

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Practice Makes Perfect…With Stress?

LJ — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:00:00 +0000

It is said that practice makes perfect. We rehearse musical instruments, practice sports, learn new languages by repeating words. These skills ingrain themselves within us and we become proficient. Do emotional and physiological reactions work the same way?

Adrian Savage thinks so.

In “Slow Leadership: Practicing Stress” (sadly no longer on the web), he expounds on practicing stress. “Everyone gets stressed from time to time. But if you practice it, you’ll become really good at getting as stressed as possible in as short a time as may be.”

We’ve all heard that we are what we think we are. And perhaps being stressed is one of those things. Since we can’t avoid all causes of negative stress, we may need to practice those techniques that get us out of the stress zone and back to our center, back to peace.

Photo by chelseagirl

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Work/Life Balance: 5 Simple (And Direct) Truths

LJ — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 11:00:00 +0000

So many people seeking inner peace and simplicity also mention that they are seeking a balance between work and life. I was greatly encouraged by Adrian Savage’s article “Slow Leadership: The Plain Truth About Work/Life Balance” (sadly, no longer on the web). It really struck a chord with me. His five truths are:

1. Work is simply a part of life, but it needs to be an enjoyable part. If it isn’t, do something about that right away.

“If your life only begins when work ends, you need to find another job or career.” We spend too many hours working to have it be a detested activity. A great many of work-place problems, though, can be changed by changing one thing we have control over: ourselves. If you detest your job, ask what can change. If you can’t change anything, then look for a new job. 8 hours or more a day is too much to waste in something that sucks the life force out of you.

2. Look for balance on a short-term basis only. Stay flexible. Remember it’s like balancing on one leg: rigidity will quickly bring you down.

It is worth thinking about a work-life balance less like a pie chart with portions that are fixed, and more like a juggling act where you have to be constantly adapting to the circumstances so that the balls don’t come down. Flexibility works both toward the personal and professional lives: there may be times when you have to take time off to care for a sick family member, and there may be times when you have to spend more time at the office to get something out the door.

3. Set boundaries and try to stick to them. If you compromise too much, your balance will be lost. The ideal is to shift flexibly within your boundaries without going past them.

If your professional life is such that you are supposed to work 40 hours per week, and you have put in 80 for many more weeks than you can count (and there is no end in sight) you may need to consider if you are OK with it. If you are not, then you have moved past your boundary. I will never forget my first client when I came back from maternity leave: he demanded overtime every week as well as me working through a pre-scheduled vacation. I didn’t have the spine to stand up to him, and have regretted it ever since. Now I refuse to work past my specified hours unless there is an emergency. And I am very up front about what my definition of emergency is: if a client cannot complete the work they need to do on a system I am writing/supporting. Anything else, particularly those things caused by poor planning, are not.

4. Have priorities that reflect your stage of life and personal circumstances. Change them in line with life’s changes. Don’t cling to out-dated choices.

10 years ago, my priorities were much different. I didn’t have a family or house. Now with both in my life, I have very different ideas of what I want to do. I recently negotiated to lessen my work hours so that I can be home when my daughter is not in school. Luckily, my current client is supportive. If they had not been, I would have asked to be reassigned somewhere else.

5. You can?t ever have it all. Be willing to let some aspirations go with a smile.

Too many “systems”, “programs” and “theories” these days all try to bypass an immutable law: when dealing with individuals, we cannot give/have/perform at more than 100%. 100% is the absolute limit for an individual. So if you add something to your life, it is only logical that something else will have to decrease because you will never exceed 100%. So stop trying.

I hope these thoughts give you something to consider in a quest for balance.

Photo by Ella’s Dad

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How I Got Off The Hamster Wheel Tonight

LJ — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:15:42 +0000

Tonight I was completely spun up, running around on a hamster wheel.

Since finishing NaNoWriMo last Sunday, I have been doing a condiment week. I’ve been playing catchup.

A busy week that seems to have no end, task lists that keep growing, having to fight a few battles that were necessary but still took a lot out of me, little sleep, and dealing with a bunch of Brownies hopped up on S’mores. I thought I was going to implode.

So how did I get it to stop in a matter of hours?

1. I took care of the basics. I handed my daughter over to my husband. I ate dinner. I sat outside and watched the stars and moon for a while.

2. I relaxed. Next came a hot bath with a relaxing scented bubblebath and candles. I listened to a sound meditation (SankofaSong.com).

3. I sat down with my task list and started pruning. Some tasks were deleted outright. Others were moved to the days when I would actually do them.

4. I renegotiated my schedule. I know I have many rehearsals (both my own and my daughter’s) this month. This means I have less time. These night’s regular tasks got moved or ignored until January. Brownies have made Thursday after work stressful as I tried to manage my weekly housecleaning, my daughter’s spelling practice, and early dinner. Housecleaning got moved to Wednesday and dinner will be “dinner in a bag”.

It’s now less than two hours after meltdown, and I feel like I am back on track. I still have to work some things in – like holiday crafts and working on the book (which after 50,000 words is still 2/3 unwritten). But it seems manageable now, and will probably be even moreso after a good night’s sleep.

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One of Those Days

LJ — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Last Thursday I had one of those days.

Usually a creative person, I was all of a sudden struck with the thought that what I am doing is futile. I create because I love to create. I share what I create so that others may gain. But in a bleak few hours, I wasn’t sure why I wanted to create anymore.

Why write if you are not sure anyone is benefiting from your words? Writing isn’t the easiest thing in the world for me, and I’ve been struggling to come up with topics and the motivation to write.

I wrote an email to a creative person I admire, asking if she had ever been through this. I was thrilled when she responded within hours. She pinpointed the problem exactly, and sent a message of support and love.

The problem was I was starting to get too drained. I’m not always aware when I have been giving without receiving until all of a sudden it descends on me like a truckful of bricks. When I get out of balance in any part of my life, I start to lose the creative spark, not only in my writing, but also in other areas of my life.

Her message, full of light and hope, allowed me to see I needed to take some time for me, build up my positivity reserves, and inspired me in my next steps.

Because “some days are like that, even in Australia“

There will be some changes around the blog in the next few months. I know that I will be looking to join a network to get more exposure and readers. I will endeavor to run more contests to get more interaction. I will run a survey to find out what you, the reader, is really interested in seeing here. And it starts today.

If this blog has helped you, please either comment on this post, or email me at lj AT simpleproductivityblog DOT com with your comments.

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