Yesterday I talked about how to make the overall process of moving easier. But if you have small children in the house, moving can be traumatic. I thought I would take today’s article to give some tips on how to make moving easier on children.

Explain What Will Happen

Children thrive on consistency and routine. Uprooting them from the home space they have known can be difficult and scary. Use terms that they understand, letting them know that they will be keeping their families and their comfort items. Explaining the process of packing and moving can help, too.

As much as possible, explain the reason for the move. Maybe a parent got a new job or was transferred, or you are moving out of a space that was outgrown. If possible, let the child see the new living space from the outside so he can get used to the looks of the new home.

Reassure Them Their Favorites Will Move

Most children have security items. Let them know that these items will be moving with them, and let them pack the items themselves. Dolly may be more comfortable in a box with a blanket than stuffed in with a bunch of other toys.

Allow your child to leave some items out to carry with her in the car. Having a special stuffed friend along to explore the new house can help it seem less scary.

Keep Necessities in a Suitcase

Children seem to gather dirt like magnets, and having necessities all together in one place can make it easier for you to deal with unexpected events. Having a child who made a close acquaintance with a backyard mud puddle is easier to deal with if you know where some clean clothes and soap are.

Set Up Their Rooms As Soon As Possible

The house will be in chaos for a few days. Setting up the child’s room first can give them a sanctuary away from the hustle. Older children can be left to unpack with minimal supervision, but little ones should have some toys unpacked for them.

Having a place to put the child while you are busy will also give you some breathing room.

Have Plenty of Nightlights Available

Even adults can get disoriented in the middle of the night in a strange space. Having plenty of night lights available can make it easier for the child to find their way to the bathroom, or to help them see their surroundings should they wake up in the middle of the night.

Know There Will Be Anxiety

Moving is an anxious time – not just for the child! Remember that everyone will be feeling a bit disturbed and mae plenty of time for cuddles and reassurances.

Do you have any tips for moving with small children? Share below.

Photo by Bears On Patrol

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Wednesdays are simplicity days at SimpleProductivity blog.

Two words strike terror into the hearts of many parents: birthday parties. The thought of having hordes of children running amok under your supervision and in your home can be downright scary. Add in all the things that parties have started to “require”: entertainment, bouncy houses, treat bags, activities and more, and most of the parents I know will run for the nearest all-inclusive package at the local laser tag building.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Birthday parties can be simple and easy, and still be enjoyable. Here’s how:

Cut Back The Scope

The first step is to realize that the party doesn’t have to be elaborate or last for hours. A party that is two hours long is more than enough for small children, and even some older ones! Know also that you don’t have to hire entertainment or spend hundreds of dollars. Kids prefer simple, in my experience.

Scout Dollar Stores and Party Stores For Ideas

Some of the best places to get ideas are at dollar and party stores. I scout the stores for ideas first, noting what is popular (and hence, easiest to find items for).

Pick An Easy Theme…With Food

Having a theme for the party makes everything fall into place. While younger children may want character-themed parties, it is easier if you pick a theme that would has food associated with it. Judging from my visits to the local party and dollar stores, right now luau is a hot theme, and this would lend itself to pork and rice or pineapple and coconuts.

This year my daughter picked “Fiesta” and it became very simple to plan.

Pick Easy Food And Cakes

Kid-friendly food can be as easy as pizza and veggies with ranch dressing, but if you have a theme that has food associated to it, pick some easy ones to assemble. For luaus, this might include chicken kebabs with pineapple, fruit salad and punch. For our fiesta, it was (predictably) tacos, salsa and chips and veggies with (authentic) seasonings.

For cakes, ordering is still the easiest, but cupcakes are the easiest for serving. If you want to do something a little more fancy, search the internet for a cake that you can put together easily. This year we did a cactus cake made out of two 13×9 cakes.

If at all possible, avoid making a cake that has you do something crazypants like painting frosting bathing suits on Teddy Grahams. Trust me on this.

Ice cream, the standard to serve with cakes, is made very easy by individual serving cups. Hand one to each child and you don’t have to worry about ice cream sliding off of plates and onto the floor.

Activities

I am a big proponent of children being outside and playing games. Of course, I live in an area where this is possible most of the year. If you have the option of having the children play outside, have activities ready, like balls or a croquet set up. Where I live, ladder golf and corn hole are also popular. If you don’t have the equipment, see if you can borrow it from neighbors.

If you can’t send the little terrors outside, aim for a craft that will keep them occupied. I love Oriental Trading Company for their easy-to-assemble crafts. I usually start the guests off with a craft as we wait for late-comers to the party. This gives the child something to take home that is a remembrance of an experience instead of junk that will end up in the trash in the next week.

The Infernal Goody Bag

It has become very popular for parents in my area to send a goody bag home from the party, stuffed with cheap plastic junk and candy. Know that you don’t have to do this.

I do provide a bag so that each child can take their craft home with them, and if the party has a theme that lends itself to other non-candy items I might choose those as well. This year the goody bags contained a chili pepper necklace and hair flowers, both for wearing at the party. My daughter also lobbied hard for the mariachi rubber duckies, which were also included in the bag.

Decorations And Supplies On The Cheap

Sure, you don’t have to decorate, but it is relatively easy and gives a nice touch to the party. I always look at the dollar store for decorations. I aim for one “theme” decoration and pick solid color plates and napkins to match. For added flair, pick up some crepe paper in matching colors.

This year, for example, I scored a (really tacky) fiesta centerpiece at the dollar store. It is a silver fountain with “fiesta”, printed on paper in the Mexican flag colors, hanging from the silver fronds. My daughter loves it. The rest of the decorations are in white, green and red, including the plates, cups, napkins and goody bags.

Do you have tips to share on how to make kid’s birthday parties easier and still be fun? Share below.

Photo by stevendepolo

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I’ve been conscious of a lot of stress in my house lately. True, I myself am under increased stress; but this was something more. I realized I really wasn’t enjoying being a parent. It’s not that my daughter’s behavior has changed, but rather my attitudes had changed, and not for the better. I was trying to make her conform, and the resulting battles rattled the windows.

I was reminded (again!) that it didn’t have to be that way as I read “The Happiest Mom (Parenting Magazine): 10 Secrets to Enjoying Motherhood”. I didn’t have to have these arguments.

Skinning The Cat

(I hate this phrase, but it’s part of the culture). The saying goes there is more than one way to skin a cat. A friend of mine, a high school Latin teacher, was talking about her department head’s insistence on certain activities in the language classes. All languages had to teach conversation skills, for example.

My friend was upset, because no one speaks Latin. That’s the whole issue with a dead language. She said to me, “It’s not enough that I’m getting the cat skinned. I’ve been told how I must do it, but the cat won’t be skinned that way!”

That made me think about what is really important in these battles: the outcome.

The Battles

The daily battles in our house consist of four areas: brushing the teeth, picking up her room, keeping her desk in the shared office (where I work) tidy, and practicing piano for a given length of time (it’s not the practicing that causes arguments. It’s the length of time).

What I cared about was the outcomes. Clean teeth. Being able to vacuum her room. Not having a mess within my visual range while I was working. Building the muscle memory necessary to be a good piano player.

And I looked at if the outcomes were being met, or if I was trying to force her to skin a cat my way.

Picking the Battles

With the teeth, there is no other way to clean teeth than to brush. So I told her this was non-negotiable, and she has to brush her teeth in my bathroom now so I can make sure it is done.

For being able to vacuum, I only do that every other week. And I am willing to shovel everything into the Saturday basket so that I can vaccum. For the rest of the week I can keep the door shut. I know it is easier to keep something clean if you keep up with it, but apparently that is a lesson she is going to have to learn on her own.

Not having a mess in my office was very important to me, so I decided I would take care of it. If papers build up, they get put in the Saturday basket, or recycled at my discretion (she is always allowed to take care of it first!).

Practicing piano…there is no substitute for time when it comes to muscle memory. But we did find a way to vary what she is playing (rotating through the pieces instead of playing the same one a set number of times before moving on). We do have to use a timer, but again, I told her this was non-negotiable.

It’s been a lot less stressful on me in the two weeks since I made the conscious decision to let these things go. I do have to remind myself frequently of the decisions, but they will become automatic in time.

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My daughter loves using my iPod Touch. But after catching her trying to Google something innocent and coming up with some not-so-innocent results, I had to put my foot down: no iPod Touch browsing.

At the time I wished that I could have the same protection on my iPod Touch that I have on the computers at home: namely Bluecoat K9, a free product that filters by category.

My wishes were granted. I got an email today from K9 announcing their browser for iPod Touch/iPad and iPhone. (See http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/k9-web-protection-browser/)

It makes me feel a little bit better, although I will still be watching her carefully.

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Fridays are tip days at SimpleProductivity blog.

I have reached a time in my parenting where it is just not worth the energy to engage in battle with my daughter. She’s stubborn, obstinate, and willing to argue to the last minute. Just like me.

I have discovered in the last few months that it is simply easier to find ways to avoid the struggles that occur. Here are my three solutions to the big problems in my house, where I simply refuse to have the fights anymore.

Reading Time

As a bookworm, it mystifies me that my daughter doesn’t read like I do (read: all the time). Her teacher this year is requiring reading 20 minutes, 4 days a week. The problem is that my daughter will skimp on the time, and try to convince me that the clock was further back when she started.

She has a bookmark with a timer, but I found that she was only putting in 10 minutes for her reading session.

So I started using my cell phone countdown timer. I set it, I keep it near me, and when the timer goes off she knows her time is done.

Piano Timer

For the past few years, we have been working on the policy that my daughter needs to practice each piano song 4 times. The trouble was, unless I was sitting in the room with her and making tally marks, she would try to convince me that she had played more than she had.

And heaven help all of us if I told her to practice something more.

This year, she has to play for 20 minutes, solid. I set the timer, and I know when the time is up. There is no arguing with the timer.

Television Bob

BOB is my new best friend. He controls how much television my daughter watches and will turn the show off in the middle if necessary. Since he’s a machine, she can’t argue with him. And he’s designed well enough that she can’t get around him (she’s tried).

Before Bob, she would sneak in television during days and times she wasn’t supposed to watch, and would throw a fit if we asked her to turn it off. Bob has made those struggles disappear.

BOB is a television timer. The television plug locks inside the case, and another cord goes to the outlet. There is a master account which lets me set up other accounts, and I can choose what days, what hours, and how long my daughter can watch. She puts in her PIN, and she’s allowed to watch at that time, Bob will allow the TV to be turned on. If she isn’t, he tells her to do something else. When her allotment is up, he beeps, and cuts the power.

Before school and nights just became a lot easier.

I am really enjoying these new solutions to not having the battles over small things. Do you have anything to share? Tell me below.

Photo by Dave_B_

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Fridays are tip days at SimpleProductivity blog.

My daughter’s pediatrician’s office is a cheerful place. It has bright colors, easy-to-clean seats, and toys. It is, by nature of being a pediatrician’s office, full of all sorts of nasty germs. But it has toys, so the trips are not dreaded.

My daughter loves the toys and wants to play with them.

I look on them as pieces of plague-ridden plastic.

A recent trip to the doctor for a stye (more because I didn’t want to have the school nurse call and tell me my daughter had pinkeye) brought this into focus. I had to keep my daughter reasonably germ-free or risk coming back in a few days to be treated for what the snot-dripping hacking toddler had (bronchitis? pneumonia?)…who was touching everything in sight after wiping his nose with his hand.

When my daughter starts getting restless in a waiting room, I just have to utter two magical words: I Spy…and the boredom vanishes.

For those not familiar with it, I Spy is a game where someone finds something and gives a verbal clue, and the other person has to find it. For example: I spy a yellow flower. Or I spy three letter Ps.

We can easily occupy ourselves both in the main waiting room and exam rooms using this method. At first it was simple things, but as she has gotten older, items have been more difficult to find.

Do you have any tips for keeping kids occupied in waiting rooms?

Photo by Marcus Vegas

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Wednesdays are simplicity days at SimpleProductivity blog.

Although my daughter is too young to have assigned summer reading, she participates in the summer reading programs at her school and the local library. Managing her reading means helping her find books, reminding her to read, tracking progress and managing the books themselves.

Finding Books

I allow my daughter to choose her own books in general, as long as the books are written for children. During the summer I also impose the rule that the book has to be one that can be read in a week (this rate is the one she needs to do to get the school prize).

She is beyond her grade level in reading; most of the books “on level” are ones that she shows no interest in anyway. But browsing the shelves at the library usually doesn’t produce level-appropriate or interesting material.

School Lists

The school district produces and distributes to the local library a list of books. Each school also provides a list of Accelerated Reader books, sorted by level. We look over these lists to see if there is a book she has heard of and may want to read.

Librarians and Teachers

We are lucky in that two of the librarians at our branch know children’s books. They are often able to make suggestions based on what my daughter has enjoyed. In addition our neighborhood is populated with four third grade teachers who also know the literature and can recommend specific books.

Recommended Reading Lists

There are many recommended reading lists. You can find them in books, online, and often in the library. While we will generally look over these books, they often seem to contain a wide level of reading, some of which is too easy and some far too difficult.

Reading Reminders

The best way to get reading done is to have a set time for reading, and to eliminate or limit media distractions until the reading is done. We do limit the amount of screen time my daughter has, and the response to “I’m bored” is more often than not “Go Read.”

Since I am not always focused enough to deliver the reminders, I have a repeating alarm on my iTouch that reminds me to remind her.

Tracking Reading Progress

Generally my daughter is asked to track two things: time spent reading and the number of books. The library sets the goal of a certain amount of minutes in order to earn their prizes and the school goes by books. For each session she sits down with the book and starts her Mark-My-Time Digital Bookmark .

I have two sheets tacked to our family message center (see Setting Up A Family Scheduling Station). One has boxes indicating 10 minute intervals, and the other has a place for title, author and date finished. After she is done with a reading session, she colors in the boxes for the amount of time she read, and when she finishes a book she writes in the date on the other sheet.

Tracking Books

This last step is the most difficult for us. Without the following steps, we end up with piles of books in various places, which leads to unread books and overdue fines.

Limit the Number of Books

We make a commitment to make one trip to the library per week. The library policy is that you can check out 30 items for 3 weeks. We check out two items for one week (and this applies to me as well!) The only time we would have more than that out at a time is when books on reserve pop up ready for us.

Keep Books Corralled

We have a library bag in our closet where all library books go. When they are in progress, we each have our spots for keeping the books. When the book is finished it goes back into the library bag.

Know What You Have Out

When we come home from the library, I make a note on the calendar how many books each of us checked out. Then the next time we go, I make sure we are bringing that many books back. If I renew a book, or keep it longer than one week, it gets added to the next week counts, so that the count on the calendar is always how many we have out at any given time.

This also serves as a reminder for books we may have forgotten we checked out.

These steps have turned summer reading into a much more manageable process. Do you have any tips to add? Comment below.

Photo by kennymatic

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This week I am bringing over posts from LauraEarnest.com.

Managing our energy is one task that working parents face daily. Given the demands on us from both the office and home, we can quickly become drained. An old article over at Lifehack.Org, The 7 Energy Sinkholes And How To Avoid Them, gives a good overview of what they are. I thought I would expand on these for working people.

The 7 Sinkholes

1. Disorganization
2. Poor Diet and Lack of Exercise
3. Problem Contacts
4. Focusing on Your Weaknesses
5. Squeaky Hinges
6. Blog/E-Mail/Facebook Addiction
7. Pleasing People

How These Sinkholes Impact Working Parents, And What To Do About Them

Disorganization

It’s hard enough to cope with the disorganization of one person, but throw in the stress of having to locate items for children and spouses, and this can be a major drain. There is only one way to get past this: declutter (see Clutter 101: How To Start Decluttering) then organize (see Organizing 101: Where to Start). This means get rid of the excess, then find a place for everything else. Organization boils down to keeping everything in its designated places.

We can help train our children to do this by having designated areas for their stuff. In our house, backpacks go by the door in the kitchen. Any backpack not left there will be removed. The rule in our house is that if the backpack is dropped somewhere else, I will throw it either into the yard or on the front porch. I’ve only had to do this once.

We also have a Saturday Basket. Worn out with telling my daughter to pick up toys, I hit upon this idea: I make a quick sweep through the house every evening and things that are not put away are put in a laundry basket stored on a shelf. On Saturdays she has to put all these toys away; if a toy ends up repeatedly in the basket, it quietly goes away. I no longer have to yell about picking up, and I am not working around disorganized playthings.

Poor Diet and Lack of Exercise

This is a hard one for working parents. We have little enough time as it is, and the thought of adding one more thing onto the list can be daunting. I won’t lecture you about the importance of diet and exercise. We all know it. What we need is practical suggestions on how to make it happen.

I don’t have a problem eating healthy for breakfast or dinner, the meals I eat at home. My problem is lunch. My solution to this is to take leftovers from the night before as my lunch. I get the benefit of the healthy meal, without the additional effort of having to prepare a separate meal.

For exercise, I believe it is best to work it in wherever possible. Sure, we may not be able to get to the gym or exercise class three times a week; however, getting your body going some is better than not at all. I work extra effort in by moving a little faster while I am cleaning house, walking the dog as often as possible, and walking at lunch if the weather permits.

Problem Contacts

Unfortunately, problem people are not easy to get rid of. Those that aren’t related to us could be jettisoned. However, for the sake of familial peace, we cannot simply refuse contact with draining relatives or in-laws. My solution: limit your exposure. If your sister calls up to complain about the latest crisis in her life, ring your own doorbell and get off the phone. If your mother-in-law is nitpicking during a visit, get a sudden “emergency” phone call from work. Whatever it takes to preserve your energy from vampires.

Focusing on Your Weaknesses

So many working parents second guess themselves, mostly because of the pulls on our attention and time. With the second-guessing comes a sense that we may not be doing as well as we could. This sort of negative thinking, focusing on the things we think we could have done better if we had more (fill in the blank: energy, time, money…), can lead to a mental fatigue. Instead, focus on what you do well.

Squeaky Hinges

The article defined a squeaky hinge as a piece of technology that doesn’t work optimally. This one caught my attention as I used to deal with a dishwasher that didn’t quite clean, and made horrible noises. With any sub-functioning equipment, we need to get it fixed or replaced as quickly as possible. The amount of subconscious attention you will be given to the broken item will be eliminated, and you will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

Blog/E-Mail/Facebook Addiction

Technology is great. However, as working parents, we don’t have unlimited time to read email, cruise the internet or read blogs. Do we want our children to remember their parents at the computer, or playing with them? The sad truth is that 90% of what comes over the computer at home is not essential. (If you don’t believe me, go for a week without accessing email, and see how much you truly miss). Limit your computer time, with a timer if necessary, and use the delete key liberally. Better yet, filter your email to get the jokes and advertisements right into the trash.

Pleasing People

As working parents, we want to give our best to everyone. However, if we take it too far and do things for others at the expense of time we need to rejuvenate ourselves, we will burn out. The way to avoid this is to make sure you keep your needs met as much as possible. As a friend of mine says, “If mama isn’t happy, nobody is happy.”

Photo by Jef Poskanzer

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Picking up can be a hassle.

I know of no young children, who when given the task of picking up their toys, will not try to get out of it. The sad truth is that without some sort of strategy to corral toys, they would quickly take over all living space. Some parents cope with this by limiting the mess to a room where the door can be closed; others ignore the problem completely; some pick it up themselves; others nag.

I have to admit, I was in the last category. My daughter has designated play spaces, but when the toys make it into rooms where they are tripped over, I insist that they be picked up. My daughter, however, will do anything in her power not to pick things up.

One evening after my daughter had gone to bed I had grabbed a spare laundry basket and I was putting stray toys in it. The idea was that I would use it to transport them all upstairs. But another thought hit, and the Saturday Basket was born.

What Is The Saturday Basket?

The Saturday Basket is simply a laundry basket. Any toy that I find in the non-toy areas (kitchen, office, music room, living room) after bedtime gets put into the basket. The basket is stored on a high shelf in the closet, and on Saturdays the basket is taken down, and my daughter has to put everything away in its proper place. If a toy ends up in the basket repeatedly, it will be quietly removed and given away, at my discretion.

No More Nagging

It took me a few weeks to break the nagging habit, but the system is working fine. We all know the ground rules, and we abide by them. We have not had to give away any toys, and I have a more peaceful and less cluttered living space.

2010 Update

I have used the Saturday basket for several years with great success. I still have to remind myself not to nag, and there have been times when I have found the entire contents of the basket stuffed into her closet or under the bed. However, it has now gotten to the point where there are weeks without anything in the Saturday basket. This is progress in my eyes.

This post was originally posted at LauraEarnest.com and has been migrated here before I shut the LauraEarnest blog down.

Photo by Bird Eye

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Mondays are productivity days at SimpleProductivity blog.

Since the end of our school semester is this week, and my daughter has four “adjusted dismissal days” (read: half-days), I decided now would be a good time to share how I work from home while my daughter is there.

Note: I normally do my job from my office, but on days when my daughter is off, my boss is flexible enough to let me work from home.

The Key: Planned Activities

The easiest way to make sure your child is occupied without parking them in front of the television, is to have planned activities. My daughter likes to be in my office with me, so she has her own desk, where she can do activities I have planned for her.

Coloring Pages

The internet is packed full of coloring pages. Sometimes I will print (double-sided, of course) pages of her favorite cartoon characters. Other times I will print an educational book, like the ones found at Enchanted Learning. These allow her to do some coloring on “new” books, which always gets her interest.

Crafts

I also have a bunch of crafts on hand. These can often be found cheaply at department stores, or on clearance at the local craft stores. These crafts have to be simple so that they can be done without my help, but still satisfying. I usually provide a tube of white glue as well. My daughter’s current favorites are origami and stringing beads together.

Puzzles

Small puzzles are also a good way to capture attention. The puzzles have to be challenging enough to get the attention, but not too challenging, which will lead to the child losing interest. We are currently working in the 100 piece puzzle range.

For older kids, there are also puzzle books. Word searches, sudoku and simple crosswords are great for absorbing attention.

Websites

There are a lot of kid-friendly and kid-safe websites out there. My daughter currently loves Webkinz, Build-a-Bear land, and Handicats. She is not allowed to browse at random, but these three sites are ones I feel comfortable letting her play as she will.

Wii Games

One surprising activity that my daughter can stay involved in is Wii games. She favors Wii Fit Plus over sedentary games, so I feel good letting her play. She can easily kill an hour biking around the island or dodging snowballs.

Taking Breaks

One thing that makes working from home with my daughter present is the expectation that I won’t be working in large chunks without being distracted. I try to break my work into chunks and take a quick break every 20 minutes or so. If she is home for lunch, I make sure I take my full lunch break and spend time with her.

I also make it clear that I shouldn’t be interrupted unless there is an emergency (and I define what emergency is). If my daughter wants something from me, I will say, “I can take a break in 10 minutes. Come back then.”

When All Else Fails, Phone A Friend

There are days when I can’t get her to settle into anything. At that point, I will phone one of our neighbors who isn’t working and set up a playdate…at their house. I have two neighbors who understand the situation and will help me out. (They claim that having my daughter over relieves them from the task of entertaining their own child, so it works out well.)

It is possible to occasionally work from home with a child around and still be productive. Provide some activities, connect with your child frequently, and set expectations, and you can manage this as well.

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