It’s January first, the day that we seem to make “the start” of plans. Most people plan to do something – whether it is lose weight, exercise more, improve their diet, fortify their relationships. Are you one of those? I am.

Barrie Davenport, of Live Bold And Bloom, has put together something really amazing. She has gathered 23 of the top personal development bloggers and offered their courses together at a fraction of the cost. You get $1000 worth of training for $97.

Yes, you read that right. That’s more than 90% off the original price.

Here’s the deal: it will only be offered for a short period of time. So if you want to get this deal, get on the waiting list by clicking here.

Here are the contributors:

• Barrie Davenport (Live Bold and Bloom; The Daily Brainstorm; A-List Blog Marketing)
• Stephanie Wetzel (Trading Pounds)
• Steve Aitchison (Change Your Thoughts)
• Jonathan Wells (Advanced Life Skills)
• Erin Falconer (Pick the Brain)
• Katie Tallo (Momentum Gathering)
• Jason Gracia (Motivation 123)
• Ev’Yan Nasman (Sex, Love, and Liberation)
• Henrik Edberg (The Positivity Blog)
• Peep Laja (The One Question)
• Steve Kamb (Nerd Fitness)
• Joshua Becker (Becoming Minimalist)
• Corey Allen (Simple Marriage)
• Jonathan Mead (Illuminated Mind)
• Charlie Gilkey (Productive Flourishing)
• Marelisa Fabrega (Abundance Blog)
• Tammy Strobel (Rowdy Kittens)
• Peter Sinclair, (Motivational Memo)
• Dirk DeBruin (Upgrade Reality)
• Peter Clemmons (The Change Blog)
• Andrea Owen (Your Kick-Ass Life)
• Evelyn Lin (Abundance Tapestry)
• Anastasiya Goers (Balance in Me)
• Sam Spurlin (Sam Spurlin.com)

This list reads like my blog reader – most of these folks are people I follow and pass on to you during Open Loop Tuesdays!

So don’t wait! Get on the waiting list now because this will be a limited time run!

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This post was written by a guest author. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guest post guidelines.

If you have not reached your goals, there are different ways to view your situation. Looking at the proverbial cup half-full, you see the knowledge gained while trying to accomplish your goals. Looking at the proverbial cup half-empty, you miss out on many things you learned because your focus is on what you did not achieve.

A cup-half-empty mindset may lead to repeating your mistakes. This mindset may also damage your self-esteem and prevent you from building strong relationships. To improve yourself, start off each day with a positive outlook—a mindset that says anything is possible. You cannot fail; you can only accept before you’ve even begun that you aren’t capable of achieving anything.

To develop your positive mindset, consider these four tips for self-improvement:

1. Look at every person you meet today as a potential teacher. Try not to waste time focusing on a person’s negative attributes. Look for good qualities in a person; what you see might change your life. For instance, you might discover qualities in another person you want to emulate. Develop a plan for building those qualities in yourself.
2. Rejoice in your blessings. Feeling uncertain about the future distracts you from focusing on the concept that your life is filled with good things. Acknowledge good health, family, friends, home, and opportunities for enjoying life. Do not give too much importance to things missing from your life.
3. Look for ways to help people. Helping a person focuses your energy on something positive, meaning you don’t have time to feel negative or miserable. Each time you assist another person, you learn more about yourself. Understanding yourself as a person is a form of self-improvement.
4. Believe that you are a good person. Past choices do not determine who you will be today. Start each day determined to be who you are and take the steps necessary to accomplish your objectives for the day. Believing you will succeed is an important part of a positive mindset. As you go through the day, you learn. At night, reflect on your new learning. Go to sleep knowing you are a good person; making mistakes does not change who you are at the core of your being.

Believe that life is a continual learning process filled with blessings and opportunities. With a positive mindset, you’re prepared to tackle any challenge. Overcoming each challenge and reflecting on what you learn ensure you will become the person you want to be.

D. Offer writes. Daniel owns and manages a Facebook Windows tool called Chit Chat for Facebook.

Photo by Paul Garland

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They say that at the South Pole a compass will spin wildly because it can’t find north. To truly find the northern direction, you must walk away and then the compass will right itself.

Isn’t that something to remember about life? If everything seems crazy and out of control, stepping outside the situation can often give us the direction we need to go.

Think about it.

Photo by mikebaird

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Fridays are tip days at SimpleProductivity blog.

I’ll admit it openly: I rarely see a movie in the year it came out. I just don’t make the time. Recently I watched Slumdog Millionaire for the first time, and I really enjoyed it. It stayed with me for days, and I’ve been turning over some of the lessons in the movie.

1. Sometimes you just have to go for it.

In the movie, Jamal is locked in an outhouse as his celebrity hero lands nearby. He holds up his precious picture, and jumps into the excrement, then tracks down the star for an autograph.

Sometimes you just have to go for what you want. Even if it means jumping into the filth.

2. Sometimes you how do you know is not important.

One of the story lines of the movie is how Jamal knows the answers to the questions on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. His acquisition of knowledge is not one of education, but parts of his past.

A friend of mine has a degree in music education, and works really hard at his programming. He is by far the most talented and innovative programmer I have ever met. He is a much better programmer than some I have worked with who hold advanced degrees in computer science.

There is a lot to be said to having the ability to put things together. And while I’m not knocking higher education, I believe the most important skills is knowing how to learn and extrapolate. I don’t put much stock in regurgitation of the lessons.

(But I may be biased, because with a degree in electrical engineering, I also have no formal education in my field. )

3. There will be those who believe you cannot do it.

In the movie, Jamal was constantly being told to let things go. Let the girl who had come with them from the slums stay behind. Let her go with his brother. Stay in his place as tea-maker. The presenter telling Jamal he couldn’t know the answers.

There will always be those who believe whatever you are going to do can’t be done, whether because of education, age, sex, societal beliefs or the drive to preserve the “norm”. We must realize that these are true for the speaker, but may not be the truth for us. Often when people speak it is more about them than us.

4. Go with your instincts on what to trust.

At one point, Jamal is offered “the” answer to a question by the presenter. He doesn’t take it, and answers the question correctly.

Trust is a tricky thing. Misplaced trust can bring you down. However, we should never lose touch with the inner voice that gives us a hint.

Most of us have been trained to ignore this sense, but it should be cultivated as another way to judge what is going on.

5. Long-term goals may have setbacks. You must pursue anyway.

The whole reason Jamal ended up on the game show is that he was searching for his first and only love. No matter what life threw at him (and there was a lot of stuff thrown), he sought her.

The path to live is never smooth. If something is truly worth having, you must be prepared to have setbacks, and find other ways, no matter how outlandish, to get to the goal.

Have you been inspired by Slumdog Millionaire? Or another movie? Share below.

Photo by Louwuselchen

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My friend and fellow blogger, Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom, has just released a new set of six guides called The Bold Living Guides (aff). These Guides cover the most essential areas of personal growth with specific strategies and simple action steps for creating a better, fuller, and happier life.

I have seen these Guides myself and can tell you without a doubt that they provide hundreds of tips, how to’s and realistic strategies for positive life change. They are beautifully designed with photos and inspirational quotes.

Here are the topics for The Bold Living Guides

• Self-Awareness and Personal Growth
• Passion and Purpose
• Positive Change and Simple Productivity
• A Healthy Lifestyle for Mind, Body, and Spirit
• Amazing Relationships
• Professional and Financial Well-Being

You can purchase the Guides individually or as a complete set. Each Guide has 15 chapters and the total set is 476 pages.

They are very reasonably priced – and if your purchase the set, you will get a 15% discount on Barrie’s life-changing course, Discover Your Passion: A Step-by-Step Course for Creating the Life of Your Dreams.

I hope you will check them out now by clicking here:
The Bold Living Guides

The cost of the full set of Guides is less than half the cost if you purchased all of
the guides individually. Plus you get 15% off the Discover Your Passion course. Barrie is offering a great deal here!

And as always, Barrie offers a money-back guarantee. You have nothing to lose! Check them out at The Bold Living Guides

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I am thrilled today to publish an interview I had with Paula Renaye, author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What Are You Willing to Do to Get What You Really Want?. I found her book insightful, and there were parts that shook my foundations. This interview has been split into two posts, both published today, to make the reading a bit easier. The first part can be found at Interview Part 1. This interview is part of the virtual book tour she is doing with The Hardline Self Help Handbook.

The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What Are You Willing to Do to Get What You Really Want? is a course in self-discovery that cuts through the fluff and gets to the bottom of things that are keeping you stuck. Each chapter has examples that are very applicable, and a section at the end to let you explore how these issues manifest in your life.

Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, motivational speaker, regression hypnosis practitioner, award winning author and consultant. Her passion is helping people face their own reality in order to reclaim their own power and get what they really want.

Interview with Paula Renaye, Part 2

SPB: Do you still get stuck? What is your favorite technique for getting unstuck?

Paula: No, no, I never ever get stuck anymore. Always have the answers. That’s a joke. BIG one! Of course I get stuck!

In fact, just the other day I was meeting with a new business associate who had just read my book. I heard the words come out of my mouth, but I couldn’t stop them and I knew where the conversation was going because that is where it always goes! The woman said, “Well, sounds like someone needs a little Hardline Self Help.” Grrr. You think?

The truth is, in the last few months I’ve gotten stuck a number of times and I wallowed and stumbled until I finally took my own advice and ran things through the basic Big 4 questions. And then the lights came one. Every time! But did I do it instantly when I hit the wall? Nope, but I’ve cut down the wallow-time down to only few hours now. I’m still working on it.

It does bring up something that needs to be said. Unless you are one of the enlightened masters walking this earth—and if you’re reading this, you’re not—you’re still working on your stuff. Just because someone—me or anyone else—wrote a self-improvement book doesn’t mean they can live it 100% of the time. We’re still human, and we’re still expanding our capacity for understanding and doing better. I share what works for me, which is constantly expanding as well, because I know it can work for others too.

And, yes, that’s really what drives me—helping people discover their own paths to happiness. Because when one person becomes happy, it affects his whole world and everyone in it. And if one person becomes happy because of then she affects others and they become happy and, well, you get the idea. So, please, share what you’ve learned. Let’s all do our parts.

SPB: How do you think your message will help the overbooked, over-driven adult?

Paula: With things as they are in the world today, it’s pretty clear that we all need to make some serious shifts in both thinking and doing, and we’re getting some serious reality checks to help us. We can’t wait for the economy to “turn around” so we can go right back to doing what we were doing, such filing bankruptcy to fix our over-indulgences or refinancing the house again to fund a lifestyle.

In fact, I think this challenging period that we’re in is fantastic! How many of us have the courage to make changes unless we’re metaphorically dangling from a cliff or very literally on our knees in intense pain? Well, how many of us are at that place now—or close enough to smell it? Right—a lot!

This time is big huge wake-up call for all of us, for re-evaluating our choices in both our inner and outer worlds, meaning we are re-discovering the joy of feeding our souls and how that looks in the physical world.

We’ve let ourselves get hooked in to a way of life that’s sucking our souls rather than feeding them. We work late to meet the deadlines, we push and shove up the success ladder, we work overtime to pay the mortgage or we live in constant fear of losing the paycheck entirely. Whatever the scenario, it isn’t a happy place.

Certainly there are times we have to make short term sacrifices for long term gains. My own “what are you willing to do to get what you really want” question is about just that. However, it is critical to be crystal clear on what it is you really want. If you say you want the best for your family, well, that’s great. But, exactly what does that mean, and by whose definition? And (here’s a big one), is it really true?

For example, are you really working 16-hour days so your family will have a better life? Or, would you simply rather be working than at home? Are you trying to get that promotion so you’ll make more money for the family or so you can prove something to yourself? Is it really in the kids’ best interests to inhale fast food for supper as they zip between soccer and piano lessons then rush home to do homework and stumble to bed? Does your family really have a better life with you not in it?

I believe more and more people are choosing to get off the hamster wheel and recreate their lives in conscious ways. The measure of what success means is changing. Whether it’s scaling back on buying things, downsizing a house or lifestyle, or reinventing yourself and your career, or a zillion other things, people are now taking a hard look at what makes them truly happy.

And while we’re at it, it’s my opinion that the people who are going to “save the world” are the entrepreneurs—the ones who maybe never saw themselves as pioneering business owners, but who out of necessity were pushed out of the rat race and into work of their hearts. Now is the time for us all to be living the life we truly want.

SPB:What is the difference between an “if only” and a legitimate vision of the future?

Paula:“If only” is a delusion. “If only I had a million dollars, I’d be happy. Everything in my life would be fixed.” No, it wouldn’t. Yes, you’d probably be able to pay off your bills and buy a house—depending on the market—and maybe a car. Then what? How did that fix how you feel about yourself? Were you “somebody” for five minutes because you had money and weren’t worrying about how to pay the bills? So what? You’ll be right back in that shape in no time. Look at the statistics on lottery winners.

Same goes with wanting a particular person or job. You get what you think you want and then there’s a letdown because in reality it was the feeling you thought that person or thing would give you, and, uh oh, come to find out you are the only one who can give that.

When you have a legitimate vision for the future, it can definitely include specific material things such as money. But it’s a different way of approaching it—it’s you giving you what you want, using the vehicles of choice. And that leads us back to those four questions again. Understanding why you want that million dollars—honestly—gives you a realistic (rather than romanticized) view of how to get what you’re really are after. Then, you make conscious decisions to use it and enjoy it for what it is rather than as a magic bullet for all your problems.

SPB: At the end of the book you spend time talking about creating vision boards to help solidify what you want. Why not just do that and skip the other stuff?

Paula: It’s pretty simple: out of sight out of mind. Most of us can’t remember what we had for lunch yesterday much less what goals we set—or how we thought they’d make us feel. By creating a vision board and a personalized vision script, you’re programming your subconscious to accept these things.

While we’re busy putting in positive programming for what we want into the subconscious, we aren’t actively de-programming the limiting beliefs that are keeping us from having what we want. Well, we might accidentally do that, but it works a whole lot better if you do it on purpose.

For example, if I want to win a beauty contest, but secretly think I’m the ugliest duckling that ever walked the planet as well as the least deserving, I can stare at a vision board all day and see myself winning, but it can only go so far. Until I actively reprogram the “don’t deserve” and “I’m ugly” beliefs they will short circuit everything else. That’s where the vision script comes in. Once you’ve identified those limiting beliefs you can structure your statements to reprogram them: “I am beautiful inside and out.”

Louise Hay’s “I deserve the best and I accept it now” and “I love and approve of myself” are good solid mental-flossing tools. Now, for some people, the word “deserve” can carry all kinds of connotations and complications. To counteract that, I like to add some additional wording with it, depending on the wiring of the listener, such as “because I exist, I deserve good things.” Even saying something that seems innocuous such as “we all deserve good” can conflict with an underlying belief of eye-for-an-eye justice that can cause the subconscious to scream “oh, no I don’t,” so wording is important.

So, in short, you need rewire your specific limiting beliefs in order for things to work effectively and efficiently, and to do that, you have to know what they are.

SPB: Why do you feel vision boards and vision scripts are so important? By applying the techniques, do you feel you have personally achieved what you were looking for? Or is it an ongoing process?

Paula: Yes and yes! I was looking for a way to get myself out of pain and confusion and stop running the old tapes that were causing it. I’ve done a lot of that! That’s not to say I’ve mastered everything, or even anything! It’s all a matter of degrees. We think we’re “over it,” and we are, right up until we’re not—when a challenge kicks us back to the old place.

As long as we aren’t faced with the old stuff, we can do pretty well at not being reactive. But when we get handed a challenge—such as I was recently with speaking my truth—we can fall back into old patterns. The good news is that we recognize it and we get ourselves out quickly. And, eventually, like Portia Nelson in her classic “autobiography” The Sidewalk, we not only see the hole and avoid it, we go down a completely different street.

I would like to thank Paula Renaye for her time and this wonderful interview! If you are interested in seeing more of the book tour, please go to The Hardline Self Help Handbook Virtual Book Tour.

Thanks for subscribing to the RSS feed for SimpleProductivityBlog. More great content can be found on the site at SimpleProductivityBlog.com.

I am thrilled today to publish an interview I had with Paula Renaye, author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What Are You Willing to Do to Get What You Really Want?. She is currently on a virtual book tour to promote the book. I found her book insightful, and there were parts that shook my foundations. This interview has been split into two posts, both published today, to make the reading a bit easier. (The second part of the interview can be found at Part 2.

The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What Are You Willing to Do to Get What You Really Want? is a course in self-discovery that cuts through the fluff and gets to the bottom of things that are keeping you stuck. Each chapter has examples that are very applicable, and a section at the end to let you explore how these issues manifest in your life.

Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, motivational speaker, regression hypnosis practitioner, award winning author and consultant. Her passion is helping people face their own reality in order to reclaim their own power and get what they really want.

Interview with Paula Renaye, Part 1

Simple Productivity Blog: This book is a journey from the past to the future, moving from cleaning out the mental closets of the past to moving into your vision. Why do you feel it is so important to take care of the past? Wouldn’t it be simpler to shut the door and move forward?

Paula Renaye: It’s all well and good to say “just let it go,” but that’s easier said than done for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that we may not even know what it is we actually need to let go of. We can say “I’ve let that go” and pretend it doesn’t matter, but if it still hurts inside, nothing’s really changed. Only when you are at peace with “why” it doesn’t bother you anymore can you really be “over it.”

SPB: In the beginning of the book, you challenge the statement, “I’ll do anything to…” How did you come to the realization that this is not true and there are things people are not willing to let go of?

Paula: Through my own mistakes, of course! I remember repeatedly saying that I would do “anything” to get out of pain. But what I really meant was, I’ll do anything to get out of pain as long as it doesn’t involving doing these particular things.

In my case, I wanted a happy and peaceful relationship, but I was in one that was causing me intense pain. Now, for that situation to resolve to my liking, one of two things had to happen: either the existing relationship dynamic had to change or I had to move on to a different relationship. Since moving on was not an option in my mind, that left change. And unless two people are on the same willing page with that, it isn’t going to happen and option two will go into effect whether you like it or not.

So, while I said what I wanted was to have a happy relationship, I wasn’t willing to do the one thing that would put me on the path to getting it, which was to leave my current partner. Only when I truly became willing to do “anything,” did my life change.

SPB:Why did you decide to write this book?

Paula:I wrote Hardline for those who are struggling, just as I did—and sometimes still do—with making the life they dream about materialize. I love the movie The Secret. It’s inspiring to me and the concepts are solid. But I have to tell you it didn’t work quite so magically for me as it apparently did for a lot of other folks.

In fact, after working with the principles of The Law of Attraction for a while and not getting the amazing results promised, I started feeling even worse about myself! Was I doing it wrong? Was my “manifestor” broken? Was the good stuff just not meant for me, or what?

Eventually, what I realized was that visualization and feeling and acting “as if” was all well and good, but if I still had subconscious beliefs that were in conflict with my conscious desires, nothing was going to happen. Well, it might, eventually, but it was going to take a long, long time.
For example, you can imagine how wonderful it would be to live in a mansion on the beach, but if you have an underlying belief that being rich is bad—that all rich people are dishonest, greedy or got their money by using and abusing others—then why in the world would your inner self let you be one?

One way that I’ve found to help ferret out some of those beliefs is with four simple questions. I call these “The Big 4.” They’re a basic insight tool and also serve as the foundation for developing your true life goals roadmap.

So, for any desire you might have—anything—use these simple questions to get insight on what’s really going on with you. There are no wrong answers and it doesn’t mean you won’t go ahead and get, do or be whatever your desire is. It does mean that you’ll have a better understanding of why so you can make conscious choices that give you what you’re really after. Here they are:

• What do you want?
• Why do you want it?
• How will you feel if you get it?
• How will you feel if you don’t?

Try it out with anything, keep digging and see what you come up with.

SPB: How do you feel the statement “I don’t have time!” affects people’s productivity?

Paula:Well, I can talk about this topic without quoting Henry Ford, “Whether you say you can or you can’t, either way you’re right.” And let’s not forget the wonderful line from Richard Bach’s Illusions, “Argue for your limitations and sure enough they’re yours.” Our words matter and we are what we say.

Now, all that said, you probably don’t have time. Most of us feel like our lives are racing along without us and the best we can do is scramble along behind, trying to keep up. If you truly don’t have time, you have to ask yourself a couple of questions:

• Is it really true?
• Do you really not have time for anything else?
• Or, just not time for that?
• Ask why or why not for each.

For me, having a particular level of “things to do” keeps me functioning at the highest level of productivity. Drop below that level and I’ll procrastinate because it feels like I have “nothing to do.” Go over that level and I’ll stare at the wall and do nothing because I’m overwhelmed and don’t know what to do first. But if I can keep myself balanced in that zone, I can effectively accomplish a great many things in a short amount of time. And let’s not forget another old saying, if you want something done, ask a busy person. There’s truth to all of these!

It’s also true that if we push ourselves too hard, if we “don’t have time” even for a good night’s sleep, our body will step in and take care of it for us. Have you ever been overworked and stressed and “come down” with a cold? Sure, stress affects the immune system and getting sick is one way to get you what you need—the hard way.

Now, one more question, if you or someone you love had a catastrophic event occur, what would you have time for then?

Like it or not, life is about choice. We choose where we spend our time. And, if we’ll be honest, we’ll find time for things that are really important to us. The key is being honest with ourselves about our choices and then having the courage to own them—and make different ones if we want to.

SPB: You have a list of Bullets You Need To Bite. What is your favorite and why?

Paula: Suck it up and grow a spine: It’s my favorite because it’s one that I still have to really work with. As un-Hardline as this may sound, I really hate hurting anyone’s feelings. Saying it like it is can turn a lot of people off and I still catch myself agreeing to something I really don’t want to because speaking my truth seems “mean.”

However, when I don’t, it always—and I do mean always—comes back to bite me. The fallout down the road after I’ve reached my limit of “going along” is usually not pretty. And it is no one’s fault but my own. No one took advantage of me—I allowed it. I did not honor my own needs and allowed another person’s desires to override my own.

I did this recently and I immediately regretted it, which set off a whole host of other feelings, including resentment, guilt, shame, disgust and anger. And what would have been a mildly unpleasant initial situation of turning away a potential “friend,” became a horribly unpleasant task that required me to be honest in a much more brutal way than had I handled it appropriately initially. It was quite a lesson—one I sincerely hope I don’t have to repeat!

More of this wonderful interview is continued at Part 2 of the Paula Renaye interview

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Look for the interview with Paula Renaye, author of
The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What Are You Willing to Do to Get What You Really Want? on Monday 11 July 2011.

The Law of Attraction is all well and good, but it doesn’t work for everybody. Or most people, actually. But that doesn’t mean that the rest of us are out of luck. The methods of The Hardline Self Help Handbook by Paula Renaye can help you get through the stuff that is keeping you stuck and help you move into the future of your making.

I’ve always wanted there to be a magic wand to make my ideal life appear. But coming up through life the way I have, I also know that nothing worth having comes easy.

Many people will say “I’ll do anything to [have/do/be]…” But that isn’t the truth. They won’t do anything. And it is this limiting belief that helps keep them from reaching what they want.

What are you not willing to do? To counter the realization that there are some things you are not willing to do or give up, Paula asks you to list what you’re not willing to give up. In my case, I realized that the things I was not willing to give up were the choices I was making to keep in my life, and those choices have a cost. This cut some resentments I was starting to harbor off at the knees.

If it’s broken, fix it. This seems obvious, but how many things are broken in your life that you just put up with, knowing you will fix it some day? This can be anything from minor annoyances to the major stuff. In my case, I was inspired to take action to get my gutters cleaned, get the smudge of yogurt (?) off my side mirror and get a handle on my reading. Paula has you examine what is broken in your life

You become who your friends are. In this section, Paula examines the influence of people around you. We all have the Debbie Downers at work, those people who feel it is their job to whine and complain. I saw the affect of two of them first hand at work. Two people who had handed in their notice spent the last two weeks complaining about how bad the job was, etc. Everyone that wandered into their cube area started complaining as well. Paula gives some concrete strategies to deal with this.

Have you ever said “That Makes Me Sick!” Would you say it if it were really true? What about “you’re a pain in the neck?” Would you say that if you knew you would have real pains in the neck? We internalize our emotions, and they pop out in various ways in our bodies. Paula has you look at the mind and body connection.

Bite the bullet. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had, or could hear, a best friend who would really tell us what we needed to hear? Someone to tell us “life isn’t fair, get over it!” Sometimes we just need to hear the hard truth and get on with it. This list of bullets is a dose of cold water.

What is it you want? Once you get through the stuff that is keeping you stuck, you have to know what you are going for. And how exactly do you get it? Nothing substitutes for the hard work, but you can keep your dreams in front of you, reminding you where you are going with vision boards and vision scripts.

But what if I get stuck? Once you are on the right path, there are lots of techniques you can use to get unstuck. The list is a good starting place to get moving again.

So what can you do right now? Take some time and list five things that you are not willing to change about your life. Everything is on the table here. Consider if you are willing to give up a relationship, a home, where you live, what you do, everything. See if they answers shock you as they did me.

Book Information

Book: The Hardline Self Help Handbook
Author: Paula Renaye
Publisher: Diomo Books
ISBN-13: 978-0967478654

Disclosure:

Paula Renaye provided me with a free copy of the book through YP Publishing to enable me to write this review.

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This is a guest post by Jacob Mojiwat, who shares the wonders of scuba diving in Malaysia. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guest post guidelines here.

I grew up around the sea. The sea is in my blood. A huge percentage of my life has been spent in the water or near it. In fact, there are times when I even start to wonder if I am part fish. Swimming to me is as natural as breathing. Sailing a boat is like walking. From an early age I’ve gotten to know the ocean and the maritime ambiance and to this day I can still never get enough of it. It’s a lot more than an environment, it’s a whole way of life – complete with its own set of guidelines, customs, and rules. Every day I learn something from the sea and as the years have gone by, I have grown to see how these lessons transcend into every area of life. Here are a few examples to explain exactly what I mean:

1. Never be afraid to wear a life jacket. I’m always amazed at the number of people who will tell you how important it is to wear a life jacket – and then won’t wear one themselves. Anyone who spends a lot of time at sea knows full well that when the ocean gets angry, it does not discriminate. When I am aboard a vessel, I am always wearing a jacket because I know how quickly the unexpected can become reality. And I am a good swimmer too! The sea is not the only place where life jackets are needed as there are many types of safety valves in our daily lives too. We all need to have contingency plans: insurance policies, money set aside for a rainy day, people we contact in case of emergencies. These are our everyday life jackets and we shouldn’t be afraid to use them.

2. Always respect “no wake” zones. Every good sailor knows that a “no wake” zone is one in which a boater must slow down to the minimum speed possible. They can be irritating because we are always in a hurry and nobody likes to be told to slow down. But as a boater myself, I have learned to use these moments to my advantage – as an opportunity to pause and reflect. When I do this, I become much calmer and my mind becomes much clearer. This carries over to many other situations, as well. Being stuck in traffic is no longer a supreme annoyance, but instead a time for a mini-meditation. Getting sick, getting hurt; these are things that slow us down when we don’t think we have any time to be slowed. However, when these things happen, I act as if I am aboard my boat in a “no wake” zone. And then I am treated to a much-welcome personal time out.

3. Plan your dive and dive your plan. This is a credo familiar to all divers. It means that before you hit the water you need to know exactly where your dive is going to take place, how deep you will go, and for how long. Once this plan has been established, it is very important not to change it. I’ve found that this guidance applies just as well in life. I can always expect better outcomes when I make a plan and faithfully follow it. At work, I plan how I will spend each day. I make a list of things that need to be accomplished, and I try to map out how much I intend to get done and roughly how much time I will spend on each item on my list. I find that when I plan my daily “dives” in this way, I get a lot more accomplished and avoid a lot of the stress that used to go along with my usual routine.

4. When ascending from a dive, do so slowly and with control. To a non-diver, this advice may not make that much sense. But to an avid diver like myself, it makes all the sense in the world. When rising from a deep dive, divers need to avoid rushing their ascent and to breathe slowly and evenly. This is the only way to insure that their lungs remain healthy and uninjured. Diving is a good metaphor for how we should rise up from deep, troubling situations in our daily lives. We always need to stay calm and avoid panicking. As in diving, a slow and steady pattern of inhaling and exhaling always helps. So does moving slowly and under control. In life, staying calm and controlled is almost always the key to emerging from tough situations intact.

5. The world at sea carries on. When I am out at sea, I never fail to notice how small I really am and how life goes on regardless of what is going on with me. Everyday, the sun will always rise and set. The tide will always ebb and flow. The birds will come out and call every morning. These things haven’t changed for the past few million years, so I doubt they are going to change anytime soon because of something that might happen to me. Whenever I look around at all these things and am tempted to bemoan my own relative insignificance, I reassure myself with the thought that I can always count on at least some things in my life staying just like they were when I was a kid.

Jacob Mojiwat is passionate about the ocean and water sports. Currently he is sharing the wonders of scuba diving in Malaysia with others. His company puts together Asia diving packages for an unparalleled diving experiences.

Photo by Alain76

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This is a guest post by Brendan Cruickshank, a veteran of the online job search and recruiting industry. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guest post guidelines.

Being in sales, I was an early adopter of networking as a way to build a client base. This goes back to when a network was established by dropping off as many business cards in as many locations as you could think of – pretty ham-handed stuff, but it worked. After all, a network back then was strictly a numbers game. Smile and shake a lot of hands and hope for the best. More was better.

Then there was the inevitable job search. The plain version was contacting all your friends and family members to shake the bushes and see what might emerge. At the executive level this included my peers at other companies and tapping into the “grapevine.” Gradually, the idea of quality over quantity triumphed over sheer numbers. People with real academic credibility were taking this networking thing seriously and analyzing it.

What did they find? Well, networks come in different types and are useful for different things. They work as a tool, certainly, but much more as well.

Becoming A Node

One of the first people I ran across who understood social as well as business networking was an elderly gentleman named Gene who didn’t seem to do much at all. He always had time to talk and was always interested in what was going on in my life. Gene was just one of those people who knew how to listen and engage authentically. He ran a private investigations company out of a small storefront. He would take calls from out of state PI’s and handle tasks for them locally. But he didn’t do any footwork, he just used his phone. Any actual gumshoe stuff got referred out.

This was all I knew until one day I mentioned that I was thinking of buying a car. Gene found out what brand and model I was interested in and said he could connect me with a guy who dealt in bulk discount purchases. A week later, I had a new Toyota delivered to my parking spot at work – everything handled with no fuss and at a great price. Gene knew people.

Gene was a node. He’d picked up licenses galore (real estate, general building contractor, notary – the list was endless) and the PI stuff was a hobby for him. His real joy was connecting person A to person B, and he did it effortlessly and with grace.

Gene taught me that to be a node, all you had to do was think of others before yourself. He built up favors like Gandhi piled up Karma. Everyone, including me, was keyed up to repay some good deed Gene had done for us. Not because I was keeping score, but because I honestly wanted to return just a bit of all he’d done for me. I was happy to feed into his node; more than happy – honored. When he passed away, the funeral was held at an old Catholic church, one of those grand cathedral-like structures. It was too small to hold everyone who showed up.

Advanced Social Networking

The human element makes us a different animal than the strict mathematical models (although nodes and degrees of separation still apply). For instance, humans do two things a computer network avoids. With people, links slowly decay over time, but they don’t die out. I’ve hooked up with old friends (acquaintances really, all the way back to high school) and revitalized a relationship with just a, “How are you doing?” e-mail.

A second thing that human networks do is grow on their own. One person suggests someone else who mentions a third person – the whole “six degrees of separation” bit. There’s an organic, living quality. Traditional social networks show these characteristics and are fine when all you want to do is share your opinions. Where the rubber meets the road is when you attach real world events to the virtual connections. Favors are the currency of advanced social networks.

If I need a good lawyer, or a tile guy, or the services of a CPA – I ask. And when I find one, I reinforce the link by telling everyone involved who did what and how it played out. Even better though, is when I can connect someone to someone else – when I get to play matchmaker. No compensation, no reward; just the joy of helping someone out and the chance to strengthen a relationship.

Magic Happens

I’m not strictly a believer in a higher power directing my affairs, but after awhile, it seems like it. Very unusual connections form on their own. Say I’m flying to Chicago next month. Instead of paying for a hotel room, I can talk to a few people I know in the area, get recommendations and even invitations for meals or lodging. Why spend my money on a sterile hotel room when I can spend half as much and buy something really nice for an acquaintance and stay at their condo? Just put it out there and let the network do what a network does.

I honestly like people and, thankfully, they seem to like me too. I’m never going to be a Gene, but I do feel some of the joy he felt. More often than not, I am just a link in a chain and gain nothing other than the satisfaction of helping. Other times, the magic kicks in and some minor thing stretches out into a solid friendship that’s priceless.

It takes a little effort, but the payoff is enormous. The magic is real. The best thing from my perspective is that my life is bigger now – broader, in a good way. It’s like having an extended family of people you actually enjoy, or like a community. We all pull together.

Brendan Cruickshank (Vice President of Client Services) – Brendan is a veteran of the online job search and recruiting industry, having spent the past 8 years in senior client services roles with major sites like Juju.com and JobsInTheMoney.com. He is quoted regularly as an expert in employment and jobs trends in major media outlets like the Washington Post, US News & World Report, and Forbes and has spoken at recruiting industry events such as Onrec and Kennedy Information’s Corporate Recruiting Conference.

Photo by Patrick Hoesly

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