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I have reached a time in my parenting where it is just not worth the energy to engage in battle with my daughter. She’s stubborn, obstinate, and willing to argue to the last minute. Just like me.
I have discovered in the last few months that it is simply easier to find ways to avoid the struggles that occur. Here are my three solutions to the big problems in my house, where I simply refuse to have the fights anymore.
As a bookworm, it mystifies me that my daughter doesn’t read like I do (read: all the time). Her teacher this year is requiring reading 20 minutes, 4 days a week. The problem is that my daughter will skimp on the time, and try to convince me that the clock was further back when she started.
She has a bookmark with a timer, but I found that she was only putting in 10 minutes for her reading session.
So I started using my cell phone countdown timer. I set it, I keep it near me, and when the timer goes off she knows her time is done.
For the past few years, we have been working on the policy that my daughter needs to practice each piano song 4 times. The trouble was, unless I was sitting in the room with her and making tally marks, she would try to convince me that she had played more than she had.
And heaven help all of us if I told her to practice something more.
This year, she has to play for 20 minutes, solid. I set the timer, and I know when the time is up. There is no arguing with the timer.
BOB is my new best friend. He controls how much television my daughter watches and will turn the show off in the middle if necessary. Since he’s a machine, she can’t argue with him. And he’s designed well enough that she can’t get around him (she’s tried).
Before Bob, she would sneak in television during days and times she wasn’t supposed to watch, and would throw a fit if we asked her to turn it off. Bob has made those struggles disappear.
BOB is a television timer. The television plug locks inside the case, and another cord goes to the outlet. There is a master account which lets me set up other accounts, and I can choose what days, what hours, and how long my daughter can watch. She puts in her PIN, and she’s allowed to watch at that time, Bob will allow the TV to be turned on. If she isn’t, he tells her to do something else. When her allotment is up, he beeps, and cuts the power.
Before school and nights just became a lot easier.
I am really enjoying these new solutions to not having the battles over small things. Do you have anything to share? Tell me below.
Photo by Dave_B_